Real Landfill: Picnic on Exbar!
Want to try your own picnic on exbar - or indeed any number of Blake's 7 planets? Visit Location, Location, Location at Ruth's Alternative Perspective.
In 2003, Spacefall and Fearless Leader Ruth set out on an interstellar expedition to Betchw- er, I mean Exbar. We visited no less than seven alien planets, met a crimmo with halitosis and learned a great deal about places which hurt after running around quarries all day.
WALKING WITH CRIMMOS: Spacefall and Fearless Leader Ruth do Exbar
After a pleasant train ride (via Victoria and the suspiciously Sub-43-esque Redhill station) we arrived at Betchworth Wast- er, I mean Exbar. We wandered up the path past some familiar hills and chalk cliffs, finally arriving at the planet itself. I clambered over some rocks for a while, waving my handgun around, and we filmed a quick welcome to Exbar in BSL. At the request of fans further afield, Ruth went in search of geological samples. We bumped into a bemused couple and their dog who told us a little about the construction of the quarry and the various series that had been filmed there.
Lovely Betchworth
After nearly losing FL Ruth in a sucking puddle of ooze, we trundled down the hill towards Xenon. The 'hydro plant' (a.k.a. Betchworth lime kiln) makes an impressive and eerie sight from the hillside, surrounded by buddleia and overgrown with trees. We avoided another mire of quicksand to skirt the long derelict building. Warning signs forbode entry and looking at the crumbling wreck of the building I didn't hesitate to agree with them. After a confused moment trying to locate Tarrant and Dayna's approach route, we clambered back onto the path and set off for Cephlon and Betafarl.
PICNIC ON BETAFARL: We suffer and rebel against the tyranny of barbed wire fences
Our route to Zukan's planet took us past Cephlon and we gazed down onto Meegat's planet, wondering at the poor camera crews whose plight we'd begun to sympathise with. Laden with our own kit, we plodded downhill and crossed a field of bemused sheep and lambs in the direction of Betafarl. The placid sheep, their wool marked with a series of coloured numbers, reminded me of the opening scenes from Warlord. After a confused detour across the field (too much chatting about Manna's FATW caused us to miss the stile) we came to the main road dividing Xenon from Betafarl.
Reaching Betafarl proved a minor adventure since the sand pit was fenced off from the road and surrounding farmland. We followed the public footpath to the rear of the pit where we discovered a damaged section of fencing leading into the site. We clambered in, pausing to admire the familiar mustard sand and imagine Avon pegged upside down in a puddle. Like Betchworth, part of the sandpit appears to have been turned to landfill use, but most of the area was untouched. A central spit of earth provides a dramatic vantage point from which most of the locations at Betchworth are visible. We stopped for lunch (our planned 'Picnic on Betafarl') then returned to the raised section of the pit for posing and photo snapping. Neither of us had the correct atire/equipment for Series 4, so we settled on a Shadow-esque shot of me standing atop a hill of sand and rubble. Ruth snapped one shot of me looking bothered and another of me nearly falling face first into the sand - a masterful piece of timing I must admit.
A GENIUS FOR BEING LED: Spacefall continues to follow and Blake's drinking habits are revealed
Fed and happy, we made our way down through Betafarl to emerge once more at the roadside. FL Ruth had pinpointed an as-yet-unvisited section of chalk just beyond Cephlon so we headed back across the farmland. After some confusion and a near diversion to a fishing lake we located a path leading to Brockham lime works (restored as a beauty spot and thankfully not at risk of landfill.) The landscape was immediately familiar, with the lovely combination of rough grass, buddleia and exposed chalk. A short path led us to a chalk hillside, looking as the quarry must have done before someone dumped a pile of refuse into it. After all of the landfill we finally felt we were on another planet. I set up the camera and we discovered that running across bumpy chalk landscapes is harder than it looks. We filmed a short scene in which Travis/Generic Fed Scum Ruth and Avon/Generic Rebel Scum Spacefall gingerly exchange packed lunches at gunpoint.
Having indulged our (well all right, my) desire to scramble about on camera, we set off for the other side of the area. The main open space at the lime works leads East towards Exbar-esque hills and cliffs so we trampled off to see what we could find. On the way we encountered a chap out walking with his children and pet dog. We chatted for a while about our geekish mission and watched as his daughter scampered about the quarry: the girl (aged around 5) was armed with a 'gun' and a communicator made out of a couple of sticks and dashing dramatically over the chalk. Bless.
Parting company with the family, we crossed some steep dips and a flat area remeniscent of Exbar (Ruth:"That's the sort of thing you could chuck a crimmo off!") or the back door of Xenon. At the end of the path was an extremely steep chalk hill strewn with a few fragments of barbed wire. At this point Ruth went into full fearless leader mode and began to climb with some vigour. Absurdly, I followed, still clutching a tripod and commenting:"This is very Blake's 7: You've decided to climb this thing and I'm following like a fool!" With a great deal of slipping and sliding we made it to the top where Ruth discovered an abandoned Guinness glass lying on the moss. Cheered, we proclaimed it Blake's own pint glass and proof of his presence on Exbar (look, at that altitude the lack of oxygen was getting to us.) I set up the tripod and we snapped a panorama of the surrounding landscape.
I was just preparing my final panoramic shots when my camera fell upon FL Ruth crawling, apparantly delirious, across the ground. After checking that she wasn't drunk, I discovered that she'd come across a clump of violets and was sniffing them happily. I flopped down to investigate, commenting on the dramatic potential of plantlife sniffing. After our brief botanical adventure we explored the hilltop and discovered no way down other than the steep slope we'd ascended. Dignity be damned, we slid down on our heels and bottoms and landed back in Crimmo land cheerfully bemused. A little more quarry wandering (and skillful orchid spotting by Ruth) and it was time to head for Box Hill.
BOX BUM AVON or NETTLE SOUP: Ruth gathers edible scenery but the crew's love-scrawlings remain undiscovered.
From 'generic B7 planet' lime works to Xenon at Box Hill was a hike down pilgrims' paths and across sheep fields. We made good time despite tired feet and Ruth stopped partway to gather nettles for Sunday's dinner. A steep set of stairs led us to the river where Muller's android was destroyed. Ruth pointed out the spot where poor, frazzled Avon had been dumped (the spindly tree beside him now a respectable size) and we speculated as to the location of the rest of the scene. Sadly, the metal bridge has been replaced, creating a serious hazard for anyone trapping killer androids in the vicinity. I considered lying down in the wild garlic for a zapped Avon moment, but was discouraged by the nearby piles of dog droppings. Delightful.
Having looked over the last bit of Xenon, FL Ruth and I headed for the car park, stopping to admire the interesting metal gateposts near the river. Just beside them, a tree had been carved with a number of lovers initials. Sadly, none of the crew had left their mark, unless you believe that Orac had it away with Servalan. Tired but happy, we left the planet behind and popped into the local pub for a re-charge.
FREEDOM CITY GIRLS: Spacefall and Ruth fail to get thrown out of Chenie's bar.
By the time we'd caught the train back from Betchworth we were understandably knackered, but one more location beckoned before we called it a night. Catching the well known interstellar transport known as the circle line, we travelled to the Hayward Gallery on the embankment where Freedom City is still to be found. Ruth gave me a guided tour of the spot, pointing out such areas of interest as the place where Travis was clobbered and the spot where Our Heroes crouched at the end of an ep. Finally, we hopped on the train back to Ruth's house. Worn out, sympathising with the cast and crew, but pleased with the outcome of our adventures we stumbled back in time for food and sleep.
AFTERMATH: The scenery gets eaten and sins come home to roost
So, after a whole day tramping around quarries how did we feel. Well, pleased and satisfied (after all, it isn't every day you visit seven alien worlds) and aching in places we'd forgotten we owned. Ruth's fall left her nearly floored for a while on Sunday, but she rallied and excelled herself by producing Exbar nettle soup from Saturday's gatherings. We spent an evening recovering amidst Zine-y goodness and made plans for our next escapade (to involve no chalk, quarries, hills or bruises but Mission to Destiny and enough teleport bracelets to juggle with.)